Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Caffeinated Parrot

Coffee Parrot Coffee Tee

We are pleased to introduce CoffeeParrot.Coffee. You read that right. Coffee Parrot Dot Coffee. The new home of Red Tail Brand handforged 100% parrot friendly whole bean coffee, roasted to perfection by the Coffee Parrot. This has been a long journey from operating the original Parrot Cafe established in Seattle in 2003, to acquiring our own coffee roaster and operating a micro-coffee roasterie. Our new website CoffeeParrot.Coffee better reflects our current orientation.

Seattle's Original Parrot Cafe Located Near North Seattle's Haller Lake.

Our Behmor 1600 Coffee Roaster. How appropriate the Behmor nameplate sports a toucan!

Our first breakfast blend. Red Tail Brand Zygodactyl Blend. Celebrating the birthplace of coffee and the home of the rarest parrots in the world, including the Hyacinth macaw. Zygodactyl is one of our favorite words, and is a fitting descriptor for the prehistoric parrot species.
Our mission today remains the same as it was in 2003. Sell the finest organic, shade grown, fair trade coffee on the market. Organic tea, rare books and parrotphernalia as well. Come visit the Caffeinated Parrot and find out for yourself. Logo Featuring Spokesparrot Roxanne.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Smoke(y) Gets In Your Eyes

Smokey is a male Congo African Grey parrot believed to be about 25 years old, currently residing in Seattle. His current owner is his third owner. Smokey was with his second owner for only six months. Smokey is a talkative fellow. He says hello, bye, come here, his own name Smokey. And he makes all the usual African Grey parrot noises such as the phone ringing. Apparently Smokey had plucking issues prior to his current home but according to his current owner the plucking has stopped.

Smokey's current owner can no longer care for him and wants to find the right home for Smokey. Smokey has a preference for women. If you would like to adopt Smokey please contact Northwest Parrots Fund. Smokey comes with his cage and toys and is Free to the Right Home.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Suppose You Were an Idiot, and Suppose You Were a Member of Congress; but I Repeat Myself

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain

Climate Change is virtually indisputable and supported nearly unanimously by climate scientists. Probably no other topic of scientific study is more universally accepted by the scientific community, except maybe the Earth revolving around the Sun. Only Totally Batshit Crazy Fucking Morons can dispute global warming. Or Republicans. Which is where Mark Twain comes in.

Two days after a United Nations report warned of increased famine, war, and poverty from unmitigated carbon emissions, the Republican-dominated House of Representatives passed a bill that would require the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) to focus less on studying climate change, and more on predicting storms.

Almost unprecedented for Republican legislation, the bill requires the federal government to actually spend money, mandating firstly that NOAA purchase paper bags, and secondly that all government scientists be required to place those paper bags over their heads when performing their official government duties.

A provision of the legislation directs NOAA to solicit the funding for said paper bags, or actual donations of bags, from one of the Koch Brothers' paper companies. Critics immediately slammed Congress for passing this bill, warning that traffic accidents are surely to increase if government scientists are required to drive to meetings and appointments with paper bags over their heads. An aide to Republican House Speaker John Boehner responded:

The House of Representatives is willing to accept a certain amount of traffic inconvenience to ensure the objectivity of government research.

In the Senate, the office of Democratic Majority Leader Harry Reid responded that this legislation is simply another corporate welfare giveaway to the Koch Brothers, and is Dead on Arrival in the United States Senate.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Organized Gangs of Parrots Ravage Guyana

Copied here in its entirety, this article, titled Pomeroon farmers battle parrot, flea invasion, written by Indrawattie Natram, appeared in the March 27, 2014 edition of Guyana Times (The Beacon of Truth). The article is subtitled Asking for guns to keep the birds away.

Carambola Fruit destroyed by the marauding parrots

Amid bitter complaints from rice farmers on the Essequibo Coast about low paddy prices, Pomeroon fruit farmers are up in arms over a parrot and fly invasion of their carambola crops. Cash crop farmers who cultivate carambola in the Lower and Upper Pomeroon River are calling on the Region Two authorities to stave off the attack. According to reports, the pests have been wreaking havoc on the trees for the past month, and came at a time when they were blossoming. One Hackney Canal farmer, Boyan (only name given) explained that the parrots in flock would destroy the leaves and fruits of the trees. Another farmer from Upper Pomeroon, John Williams said the parrots seem bent on not allowing the trees to produce. Williams said the parrots usually inhabit the trees at nights and by morning, the fruits are destroyed, and this is not all. He said the birds appear fixed on making his life miserable as they would make loud and annoying chattering sounds, and as soon as he peeps at his window, they will fly way. Some farmers have been using sling-shots and arrows and bows to stave off the birds, but they say this is not enough, contenting that guns will do a better job. And, on this note, they are calling on the Agriculture Ministry to support their case, with some saying that scaring away the parrots is not enough, as they should be killed and cooked. Region Two Vice Chairman Vishnu Samaroo recently in his report to the Regional Democratic Council, acknowledged the parrot invasion, while calling for urgent counter measures. He said the mischief of the birds has invited swarms of fleas, feasting on the fruits destroyed by the parrots. According to Samaroo, a National Agriculture Research Extension Institute (NAREI) field officer visited several affected farmers and advised on how they should get rid of the fleas. Pomeroon farmers usually harvest thousands of carambola, which they vend at the Charity Market. The fruits are harvested manually by farmers. Some farmers preserve the fruit and use it for cake mix. Carambola cultivation is prevalent in the Pomeroon River and is a main source of livelihood for many there.

The angst. The drama. The visuals. The makings of an epic Greek tragedy. We've got rampaging parrots. We've got flies. We've got embattled farmers fighting off rampaging parrots with bows and arrows, begging their government for guns to defend themselves. And it all must be true, because the Guyana Times advertises itself as The Beacon of Truth! Of course, we're rooting for the parrots.

The parrots of Guyana are not identified, so we can only guess at the species they are. But they are so nefarious, we would think Goffin's cockatoos if this was Australia. Having a Goffin's cockatoo we know what juvenile delinquents they are. We can only imagine the destruction an entire flock of Goffin's cockatoos could wreck.

But this is Guyana. No Goffin's cockatoos native to Guyana that we know of. Twenty-eight species of parrots have been recorded in Guyana, ranging from macaws to Amazons to various parrotlets and parakeets. If we had to guess we would guess Amazon parrots because we know from experience how loud and intimidating Amazons can be. Whatever species of parrot, they were intent on making the life of one farmer, John Williams:

miserable as they would make loud and annoying chattering sounds, and as soon as he peeps at his window, they will fly way.

The rampaging parrots were even driving the besieged farmers to petition the government to allow the parrots to be killed and cooked! Under this pressure government ministers responded to the national crisis:

Vice Chairman Vishnu Samaroo recently in his report to the Regional Democratic Council, acknowledged the parrot invasion, while calling for urgent counter measures.

And if the parrots weren't making life for Guyanese carambola farmers hard enough, the:

mischief of the birds has invited swarms of fleas, feasting on the fruits destroyed by the parrots.

Birds. And parrots. And flies. Oh my. Unfortunately we'll have to wait for the sequel to this article to learn just what the counter measures are, and how effective, since these counter measure aren't addressed in the article. Machine guns? Catapults? Cooking pots? Aerial bombardment? We don't know. But we're betting on the organized gangs of rampaging parrots to continue making life miserable in Guyana.