Wow! Raymond Chandler could not have penned a more crisp and succinct paragraph in the whole history of noir crime fiction. This story cries out to be illustrated with blood soaked photographs of ravenous parrot gangs. Of desperate farmers fighting back with slings and arrows and catapults. But sadly, it is not to be. So we will do our best to illustrate this story with words as we attempt to parse the true meaning of this fierce struggle between parrot gangs and desperate farmers.
What in the hell is an Irrawaddy, anyway? We Googled the term to find out that it's apparently Burma's largest river and most important commercial waterway. Okay. That works for us. Guess that's a good name for a website covering Burma and Southeast Asia.
And what's up with this Burma - Myanmar confusion? You call it Myanmar. We call it Burma. It was always Burma when we were growing up. Just like when you say Beijing we think Peking. But we digress.
Getting back to the blood soaked battles between parrots and pirates. Sorry, parrots and farmers. What do you suppose the farmers arm their catapults with to beat off the parrot hoards? Sticks and stones? Sunflower seeds? Whatever it is, it doesn't appear to be all that effective by the tone of the article.
Oh for some photos! When we first read this article we immediately thought organized gangs of Cockatoo parrots. Goffin's Cockatoos to be precise. Gawddamn juvenile delinquents! We have one, so we know what we're talking about. But probably the wrong continent. More likely the parrots involved are Indian Ringnecks, indigenous to the Indian subcontinent and Southeast Asia. Specifically the Psittacula krameri borealis, or Rose-ringed parakeet native to Burma.
Twenty years ago we never would have encountered a story this wonderful, or bizarre, in our local newspaper. Got to love the Internets!