Saturday, August 8, 2009

Republican Stupid Watch

The Zen Parrot is pleased to announce a new feature: Republican Stupid Watch. Republican stupidity knows few bounds, so it's hard to know where to begin! Sarah Palin is enough to give any thinking person a headache. But with Republican Stupid Watch we can at least monitor the highlights (or lowlights) of Republican Stupidity! Bring your own aspirin!

We are dumbfounded that there can actually be a Republican Jackass more stupid than Sarah Palin. No surprise that this particular Republican Jackass comes from South Carolina, which sports a philandering Republican Jackass at its head:

Clearly General Sherman didn't do enough!

I Don't Want Our Schools Turned Over To Some Socialist Movement!

Our head is simply going to explode trying to figure out if Republicans (especially Texas Republicans) can become Any More FUCKING STUPID Than They Already Are???

Exactly how STUPID does someone have to be not to want the President of these United States telling kids to behave in school?

Wondering just how brain dead and stupid conservatives are? Well, this video from the Las Vegas Town Hall should give you a clear picture! Conservatives endorse Hitler over healthcare! Bring your own aspirin.

When Republican Stupid reaches its inevitable and violent conclusion, surely the Morons and Dickheads Rush and Glen and Ann and Monica will blame President Obama for the sad state of affairs!

Republicans demonstrate once and for all that the Party of No has ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING INTEREST in saving taxpayers dollars, reducing health care costs, or reforming any fucking thing:

It may not come as a surprise that Republican senators like Chuck Grassley are Total Fucking Morons! But you'd think at least one of their staff members would have half a brain to keep them in line!

Sarah Palin is Totally Fucking Out of Her Mind!

More Republican Stupid. First we had the Birthers. Now we have the Deathers, who are convinced that the government wants to kill your grandma: Rachel Maddow on Obama versus the Deathers.

Nearly one out of every two (47 percent) Republicans are certified Flat Earthers, believing, according to the latest Daily Kos/Research 2000 poll that the American and African continents were never joined at the hip:

The New Republican Motto: Don't Confuse Us With the Facts!

Totally Fucking Stupid is Spelled: S A R A H P A L I N

I can see Totally Fucking Stupid from my front door:

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Training Your Parrot: Handling Macaw Beaks

Macaw parrot beaks can be scary and intimidating to the uninitiated parrot owner! And they should be! Macaw beaks can generate anywhere from 200psi to 300psi of pressure depending upon the species of macaw parrot. We at The Zen Parrot have produced a new Training Your Parrot YouTube video: Handling Macaw Beaks. With this introduction to the Parrot Wranglers Academy, you too can become a certified Parrot Wrangler and safely handle macaw parrot beaks with the best of us! Just remember, don't try this at home unless and until you become a professionally trained Parrot Wrangler like we are!

Currently the Parrot Wranglers Academy offers an online specialization in Macaw Management. In the very near future, the Parrot Wranglers Academy also plans to offer online tracks in Cockatoo Coralling and African Grey Linguistics. But wait! There's more. With graduation from the Parrot Wranglers Academy, you are automatically enrolled in the International Parrot Wranglers Association. Stay tuned for more information.